Around Valentine’s Day, the question "What is love?" feels louder. Love appears in store windows, across social media and in advertisements. It’s often framed as something external, something to give or receive.
But what if, instead of searching outward, we learned to look within?
In the middle of February, when midterms approach and your to-do list feels endless, self-love rarely looks extravagant. It is quieter. Smaller. More practical.
Self-love shows up in the way you speak to yourself after a hard exam. In whether you allow yourself to rest. In the small choices you make when no one else is watching. These are all forms of what many describe as “love languages”.
Maybe love is not only about who you choose, but also about how you choose yourself.
1. Words of affirmation
Words of affirmation are how you affirm yourself through the words you choose in your own mind.
It’s catching yourself when you think, “I am not good enough” and gently shifting it to “I am still figuring this out.” It’s admitting “That didn’t go how I hoped” without jumping straight to “I always mess things up.” It’s learning to separate who you are from what happened.
As students, it is easy to tie our worth to performance. A grade drops and suddenly confidence drops with it. Someone else seems ahead and we question our own pace. In those moments, your inner voice matters more than you think.
Affirming yourself does not mean pretending everything is fine. It means choosing not to tear yourself down when things are hard. It means reminding yourself that growth is rarely linear. That you are allowed to learn in public. That effort counts even when outcomes feel uncertain.
2. Acts of service
If words of affirmation are about how you speak to yourself, acts of service are about how you support yourself.
For me, it looks like planning my week on Sunday night, so Monday does not hit me all at once. It looks like breaking one large assignment into smaller tasks because “write essay” is vague but “finish essay outline” is doable. It looks like putting my phone in another room for an hour so I can actually focus instead of pretending to study while scrolling.
These are small choices, but they add up. Acts of service are about caring for your future self, now.
3. Receiving gifts
When we think about receiving gifts on Valentine’s Day, we usually picture someone else showing up with flowers, chocolate or something wrapped in red.
But this love language can also mean giving something to yourself.
It does not have to be big. It can be buying your own flowers because you like how they brighten your room. Picking up your favourite snack after a long week. Getting a book you have been meaning to read.
Pro tip: If you are on a student budget, buy flowers before or after Valentine’s Day. They are usually cheaper and they last just as long.
4. Quality time
Midterm season makes 24 hours fly by. No matter how early you start, it feels like there is still more to do. You study but wonder if it is enough. You take a break and feel guilty. You procrastinate, then panic, then promise yourself you will “lock in” tomorrow.
Quality time with yourself becomes less about romance and more about discipline. The important part isn’t how many hours you spend, but how you spend them.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that quality time is about intention. If you are studying, study with focus. If you are resting, rest without guilt.
5. Physical touch
Midterm season is when physical self-care becomes non-negotiable.
Your body will carry the consequences of how you treat it. If you cut sleep, it will show in your focus. If you skip meals, it will show in your energy.
It may feel like you are losing study time, but you are not. You are protecting performance.
Your body is not an obstacle to productivity. It’s the foundation of it. Taking care of it during midterms is not soft. It is disciplined.
Love is often framed as something dramatic, visible and outward. But during this season, take time to also nurture it quietly and internally.