The evolution of university friendships

Written by Tenda Kiggundu

University is full of changes, and our friends feel like the one thing that should stay consistent. Community grounds us, and change can be scary. But it's also exciting coming into an environment where you can meet a diverse group of people and make new friends!  

We’re here to help you navigate meeting others on campus and answer some of your questions about making friends in university.

How will I make friends while in university?

Our community of friendships will naturally evolve over time. Some friends may be in your life for a season, while others will be in your life for years to come. Instead of resisting these changes, try to embrace them and adapt to the ebbs and flows. My entire friend group changed since I first arrived at York, and it's common to feel some guilt or shame about this. But as we grow, the people who accompany us on our journey will inevitably change too. It's all part of the process!

Pro tip: Sign up for YU Connect to access a directory of York’s clubs, events and more!

Who will I meet?

There are many different types of friends you might make while at university. Here are a few examples. 

The first friend

This is usually the first friend you meet at the start of your time at York - maybe at orientation or in your first lecture. They provide you with comfort;  they make university feel less scary and you get along. This friend is important in a lot of situations, and you’ll have a lot of your York firsts with them.

The "close to home" friend

This is a friend who you hold a lot of cultural similarities with. Maybe you come from the same town, or you knew them before university. In a lot of ways, they are reminiscent of your high school friendships; you laugh about most of the same things and you get along instantly because they feel familiar. They help you feel less homesick.

I came to York with a lot of people from my hometown. Since I travelled so far, it was nice to have them here - the support and community I felt with them was reminiscent of something familiar. Although having this community is great, don't forget to still put yourself out there and interact with new people!

The "wild card"

This is someone completely different from your previous friends, and they may also be quite different from you! It’s often surprising how well you get along despite your differences. Such a friend is good for you, as they can help you get out of your comfort zone and introduce you to new experiences.

The friend for life

There is a level of understanding and companionship that you feel with this friend that you haven’t quite experienced before. They become your best friend – and it’s evident that they will be in your life for a long time.

I met mine in my third year. It actually surprised me how someone who knew me for such a short period of time got along with me so well. It’s easy to be yourself around them.

Making new friends can be intimidating at first, and it can feel hard to adjust to a new community. But just because it's something that you’re not used to, it doesn't make it a bad thing. Embrace the process, take the time to meet others and appreciate the unique perspectives they bring. As your friendships evolve, prioritize those relationships that nurture your growth and well-being.